A state is sum total of hundreds of processes that keep going on in the mind and body at any moment. People call it ‘mood’ also. There are two states usually that you are in; (a) resourceful state or (b) unresourceful state.
Resourceful states are the states that help you reach your inner potential and utilize them. The resourceful states include the states like happiness, concentration confidence, joy, flexibility, love, playfulness, feeling good and healthy, etc. These states are required by your child to learn his subjects and stay young and healthy.
Unresourceful states are the states that take you in the ‘stuck’ situation as these states stop you from reaching your inner resources. Even when you have unlimited potential in you, you can’t utilize them. The unresourceful states include the states like sadness, confusion, fear, phobia, frustration, anger, and depression, etc.
Once, your child experiences any unresourceful state for a long time, if affects his performance in studies and health as well. As a parent, you need to observe your child’s state closely. You can observe his way of walking, facial expression, breathing and tonality, etc if he is in the right state or not.
One simple tool you can use to help your child is to make him use his physiology in a powerful way as the state is completely linked with physiology. So, next time your child says that he is feeling afraid of a particular subject, ask him to create new options through his body and enjoy confidence. Here is a simple exercise.
Suppose your child says, ‘I feel the fear of Maths’, you need to give the following command (once you set rapport) to your child. “As if you are fully confident about maths – put your spine straight and throw your shoulders back a bit.” Watch him take a new posture and continue your command.
“As if you are fully confident about maths, show this confidence on your face.” Watch him gain confidence. Say further. “As if you are fully confident about maths, feel this confidence in your breath or how you will breathe as if you are fully confident in maths.” Ask him to hold this posture. He will start feeling confident.
Once he feels confident, now ask him to hold these feelings of confidence and visualize that he is doing his maths confidently. If you train your child to access the resourceful states consistently, you are making him see the world from a healthy perspective. The state is more important than the skills. The key for your child to produce good results in life depends upon the state he experiences consistently.
Your child’s behavior is the result of the state he is in. If you want to change some of his behaviors, you need to bring him out of certain states and take him into different ones. Your child will tap into unlimited inner potential and will reach desired goals once you teach him how to gain new resourceful states on a consistent basis.