Before you say anything, you need to be in rapport with your child. The rapport between two people is an environment of friendliness. Once you are in rapport with someone – you both feel to communicate. You bypass that person’s conscious mind and send your message to a deeper level of mind.
The quality of your communication defines the quality of your relationship with your child. And the quality of relationship defines
In this topic, you will learn to set rapport with your child and create an environment of trust and confidence in less than one and half a minute. Your child will unconsciously start liking and loving you. He will start taking your advice positively.
According to a report, we humans communicate 55% through our physiology (body movements), 38% through our tone of voice, and just 7% through our words.
As a parent, if you think there is a lack of communication between you and your child – there must be missing one or both big factors i.e. physiology or the tone.
As your happiness is the result of the happiness of your child – so you need to be a good communicator with your child. Once parents fail to be a good communicator with their children, the children get associated with unwanted people to share their emotions. It becomes a painful situation in families at times. This technique will help you set rapport with your child and create an environment of trust and confidence.
Rapport through Matching & Mirroring :
As you have known, we communicate 55% through our body movements like our body posture, breathing and muscle tension, etc. If you learn to communicate through your physiology, you set a stage of trust even without speaking a word. What a beauty ! This will be achieved through matching and mirroring. You need to match or mirror the physiology of your child.
This you can achieve even now when you are sitting or talking with your child. What you need is just keen observation and flexibility. Just observe how your child is sitting. You too sit in a way that you become his mirror. If he sits with his crossed legs with left leg putting at right. You can sit with your right leg putting left. It creates a mirror.
Focus on facial expression, posture, and breathing and try to mirror. It will be great fun. When you are mirroring your child – you are pacing him. You move the way your child moves, you change gestures as your child changes his gestures. Once you pace him for some time and then if you change your posture, you will see the magic that your child moves his body unconsciously to match your postures. Now, it called ‘leading’. It shows that rapport is established between you and your child.
Even you can play a game of setting rapport with your child. Ask your child to slowly change his body postures and you mirror him. It will create a bonding between you and your child. Next time you can change your role. This way you are teaching your, child, a magical technique.
Note : Don’t Match mirror the patterns like sneezing or coughing etc. as they are not the conditioned patterns.
To match or mirror the next 38 % part of your communication, pay attention on the tonality of your child. Match the volume, speed, and pauses. Same way, mirror some of the words and phrases your child speaks. Once you use these words and phrases, you indirectly communicate to his unconscious mind. One of the NLP pre-suppositions says, ‘The meaning of your communication is the response you get’. In case you are not getting the desired response from your child, take responsibility and adopt a new approach of your communication. Rapport is the first approach that you need to learn for better parenting.
Many teachers and parents think that since they know their rules, behaviors, or subjects well, the responsibility of failure lies on the children. It is incorrect. The responsibility lies solely on parents and teachers because the child’s learning is the response of the communication of parents and teachers.
Before you learn the magical exercises in this book, sit with your child today and experience the magic of rapport and experience the new trust, confidence and better level of communication.